I’ve always thought it odd that the universe has a speed limit. 671,000,000 mph. That’s it. But slow down a bit. Who capped speed at that the ultimate upper end? Well, Einstein, for one, as well as every credible scientist since.

They’ve even been able to measure it, and, lo and behold, they’ve proven it (remembering that proven things always seem to have half-lives in physics).

But I’m a bit confused. Why 671,000,000 mph.? That’s hard to get behind. Wouldn’t zero make more sense? And that’s it, of course.

Light’s not zipping by at an astronomical speed. It’s going 0 mph, and we’re scooting away from it at minus 671,000,000 mph. It’s as if the entire universe were somehow spreading out from … well, from whatever, and doing it mighty fast!

But what would happen if we were able to gain speed against this inexorable tide of universal speed? What if we could travel at plus 671,000,000 mph?

Well, we couldn’t. Who says? Einstein again, and every one else too. According to their theories our mass would become infinite at that speed; and our experience of time would slow to nothing.

So where does that leave us? Well if we could ever get to square one, or zero, we’d be at the source of all that light we’re shooting past, enjoying a timeless eternity, infinitely pleased with ourselves.

Kind of sounds like paradise, doesn’t it? Like a place right out of old Babylonian and Hebrew books, doesn’t it?